One mother gave me birth, and the other brought me up. I am more indebted to the latter, who looked after me from the age of twelve onwards. In fact, she was my father's sister, a kinship carer, who had been a victim of child marriage and was widowed at a very young age. Her name was Mandhodari Budki, which changed to Pranashuri Chowdhury after marriage. We fondly called her Jigree. I learnt that her husband was handsome and intelligent but didn't live long. She spent her days with her parents and later on with her sister, but her greatness was that she loved her in-laws' family, which was joint and comprised more than twenty individuals at one time. Consequently, they adored and respected her throughout her life, so much so that, under divine intervention, she went to Jammu to visit her in-laws in 1988 and breathed her last there. Though she had adopted her brother-in-law as her son, the relationship was more formal than emotional. After my mother's death in 1962, when I was just twelve, she joined our family and looked after her brother and four naughty children, three girls and one boy.
Jigree was quiet, unassuming and pragmatic. She didn't like extravagance and showing off. She was frugal, and her eating habits were minimal, just a few morsels and that was all. No snacks, no tasty foods, and no temptations. She was an epitome of contentedness, always wary of the evil eye of the people. I remember once a distant Muslim neighbour asked her which class I was studying in. She replied, "I am uneducated and don't know much about it. It is something after matriculation, most probably." Surprisingly, I was in M.Sc. Botany; her son was a professor of Botany, and I often consulted him. Jigree never scolded anyone or talked loudly to show her disapproval. Despite being uneducated, she was very intelligent, and even elderly ladies, particularly from her in-laws, would consult her to solve domestic problems and even seek guidance on living a better life. I once noticed her advising a young, newly married lady to peel the bark from firewood, put it in her mouth, and hold it tightly with her teeth whenever she anticipated her mother-in-law's wrath. When I asked, she told me that since she couldn't reply to her mother-in-law, the latter would get exhausted and stop frowning at her. In most cases, it worked.
Many misfortunes visited our family. My father had three accidents one after the other during winter. First, he fell from his bicycle and broke his hip joint and femur bone. We consulted a doctor, but the matter worsened. One of our relatives advised us to see someone who was a sock-maker for a living but was also a bonesetter. He mostly used local herbs after resetting the affected bones. He came, removed the doctor's plaster, pulled the leg a few times, and then prescribed several herbs to be boiled, ground, and applied over the entire area. Then he bandaged it for two days. The process of boiling herbs was repeated and applied to the hip repeatedly till the leg recovered and started moving. After about a month, my father could move but couldn't ride a bicycle. So he walked to his office, a distance of 4-5 kms, every day. One day, while returning from the office, his shoelaces got loose; he raised his leg and placed it on the wooden ledge of a shop to tighten them. No sooner had he kept his foot on the ledge than a big signboard of the shop fell on his foot due to the heavily accumulated snow behind it. My father writhed in pain; his foot was swollen due to a fracture of the ankle bones, and the foot resembled a foot having elephantiasis. Somehow, a few people managed to carry him home. Again, the bone setter worked a miracle, and by March my father had recovered. Because of his meagre salary and heavy expenditure, he couldn't afford to take auto-rickshaws every day. So he tried riding the bicycle again and, after a few days, had yet another fall, but the injury was minor compared to the earlier one, and he recovered soon. That whole winter was a nightmare not only for him but for his sister, Jigree, as well, who left no stone unturned to nurse him, prepare the herbs, paste them on the injured area and bandage the affected part heavily and securely. She had to stay awake for many nights when her brother would cry due to unbearable pain. Jigree managed it all single-handedly and ensured her brother was back to normal. Mother Teresa would have been no match for her.
I faced turmoil when I had to appear for my M. Sc. (Previous) examination. Frustrated, I decided to give up my studies and seek a job. She was startled. One day, as she served me breakfast, she asked, "Why don't you want to appear in your examination?" In reply, I gave her my reasons. She was as cool as a cucumber and said, "Do you know why I have joined this family after your mother's death?" Without waiting for my answer, she continued, "It is for you and you alone. Your sisters will get married and go their way, but you are the scion and pride of my brother's family and carry further the mantle of his name. You need to save my grey hair from disgrace, failure and dishonour." She didn't say anything more, but it moved me, and I reassembled my life, appeared for my examination, and was successful. As a result, my one year was not wasted.
Even regarding my marriage, she warned me that I was making the wrong choice. She gave her reasons, but I didn't appreciate them then. Her prophecy proved correct. The marriage proved a total failure, and looking back, I think my obstinacy proved me wrong.
Her only regret in her life was that she was not educated. Had she been a matriculate, she could have got a decent job and lived her life independently and much more gracefully. But that was not to be. A song she often hummed: "Awaz de kahan hai, duniya meri jawan hai; Abaad mere dil mein umeed ka jahan hai, duniya meri jawan hai; Barbad main yahan hun, Abaad tu kahan hai, Bedard aasman hai, duniya meri jawan hai." The song portrayed her life more than her autobiography could.
Apart from being indebted to her for whatever she did for me, I love her intensely and remember her at every moment of my life.
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