DEHATI-A SYMBOL OF PASSION AND PATRIOTISM – Deepak Budki

 DEHATI-A SYMBOL OF PASSION AND PATRIOTISM

– Deepak Budki

There are many unsung poets and writers in Kashmiri literature; Gangadhar Bhat ‘Dehati’ is one of them. He contributed to both Urdu and Kashmiri, though Kashmiri was his mainstay. During his lifetime, he was not able to publish his writings, which, however, were done posthumously by his worthy son Kuldeep Kumar Bhat by compiling, editing and publishing his combined collection of poems in Kashmiri and Urdu titled ‘Sontuk Partav’ in 2024.

      Gangadhar Bhat was born in Murran, Pulwama, on 7th February 1917. After completing his Post-graduation (Hon’s) in Urdu and B.Ed., he took to teaching in the State Department of Education in 1943, with a short stint on deputation as editor of Dehati Duniya from 1951 to 1954. He also obtained a Prabhakar degree in Hindi. Gangadhar started writing when he was just 14 years old and a student in the 9th class; his first short story was titled ‘Khooni Tamanna’, which was published in the Daily Martand, Srinagar. He adopted the pen name of ‘Dilkash Kashmiri’ but soon changed it to ‘Dehati’. From 1938 onwards, he remained associated with the Weekly Desh owned by the great social reformer and freedom fighter, Kashyap Bandhu. 

Dehati wrote Urdu and Kashmiri short stories, poems (ghazals, nazms and Qata’at), dramas, and essays on social and political topics. His ghazals are mostly continuous and, like his nazms, deal with his favourite subjects such as existence, struggle, equality, justice and patriotism. A few couplets are reproduced here:

1) Gahe chum qatre bapat tamblawan,

        Gahe baer baer thawan paymane myonuy

2) Wachus peth yemen zindagi khaetch kadith dub,

        Paekh shrakh seenus, buthyan zan peyekh rub.

3) Athe khur yem waey Taemsey daulath gaye qurban,

             Matche khash Yem dyut Taemsey ade tothev Bhagwan.

4) Pritchyomus me wantum chu kya zindagi mul,

             Awezan dopun che akis aami dawe.

In the poem ‘Myaen Shaeyri’, he writes about what drove him to write poetry:

Hyatechi talkhyev dup ban tche shaeyir,

Dukhav daadev dopum zev tche metchrav. 

Dehati’s literary endeavours came to fruition at a time when the Progressive Movement was at its zenith. Hence, he was deeply influenced by it, and even though he continued writing beyond the 60’s when Modernism replaced Progressivism, he remained insulated from the latter. His writings depict the patriotic fervour prevalent at his time (Watan Son, Myon Yaar, Hum Dushman ka Munh Toden ge), as well as the pain and pestilence, poverty, and helplessness of the peasants and labourers, and their exploitation by the zamindars and the capitalists (Shael Tarakh, Jande te Dyaar). He also focused on the social evils of his time. Mehjoor and Azad, his contemporaries, influenced his Kashmiri poetry. He believes that only the destruction of established systems can create a new ideal egalitarian society. He uses words such as Tongue, Fire, Revolution, Progression, and Self-respect as symbols of the pursuit of justice and equality in society. It can be noticed in his Urdu poem, ‘Hamari Duniya’, excerpt of which is reproduced below: 

Aag laga do is duniya ko,

Jis se ho jaye ujyala,

Raj yahan hai andhyare ka,

Bhook, Ghulami, Bemari ka,

Sadti hai makhlooq khuda ki,

Tehkhanon men, zindanon men…

Raj yahan karta hai moorakh,

Gyani khata dar dar thokar…

Nirbal yaan par khoon rote hain,

Anndata marta hay bhookhon…

The situation remains unchanged to date. As regards the tongue, the poet believes that your speech must stand for truth even if it drags you to the gallows. 

Zev gaye suye pez yues pez kath kare,

Paezi khaetre yus darus peth mare.       (Zev)

He wrote against people's superstitious behaviour and religious rituals, as well as God’s indifference to the plight of the common masses, as in ‘Soen Khuda’. However, this did not mean that he was anti-religious, as he has written some beautiful poems on Lord Krishna, Herath (Shiv Ratri), Bhagwan Ke Darshan, Bhajan, etc.

Ashan sanyev chav sontuk wav,

Chukh bael beye tchael dillek aamtav,      

Suey toshnavan beye aaye Haerath.  (Haerath)

Dehati has also written poems on some great men of the past l, such as Shri Bhat, Lal Bahadur Shastri, Bakshi Ghulam Mohammad, G M Sadiq, Patrice Lumumba and Pt Deendayal Upadhyay. His translations from other languages include Tagore’s Bengali poem (Zenun te Harun), Iqbal’s Urdu poem (Ram) and Boris Pasternak’s Russian poem (Ehtejaj). Dehati’s elegy on the death of his daughter, “Boe Lekhus Name’ is both melancholic and poignant. A similar atmosphere is created in the poem titled ‘Vedwah’ (A Widow). On Mahatma Gandhi’s death h,e hawrote beautiful, heart-rending poem, ‘Theher Kahan Bhage Hatyare’. 

One thing that characterises his poetry is his Optimism. Despite dwelling at length on vice prevailing over virtue in the modern world, he firmly believes that with the advent of independence and democracy, things are going to change for the better (Jamhoor, Nuv Farhad, Woh Shubh Garhi, Navyug ki Prabhat).

Dehati’s style is his own. He has a firm grasp of both languages, but his command of Kashmiri is complete. In his Urdu poetry, he frequently uses Hindi words, which at times seem unnecessary. 

*****

         

LAL-DED REVISITED-Jawahar Lal Bhat (Review by Deepak Budki)

LAL-DED REVISITED-Jawahar Lal Bhat

—Book Review by Deepak Budki

Kashmir, often called Resh-Vaer, has been an abode of many Rishis and Sufis. The valley has stood as an epitome of a multicultural and multi-religious ethos, the foundation of which was laid by some renowned visionaries. Since time immemorial, it has been a seat of learning and discourse on human existence and the purpose of life. Philosophies such as Shaivism, Tantra, and Trika were propounded by great thinkers, including Somananda, Vasugupta, Utpaldeva, Abhinav Gupta, and Lakshamandeva. On the other hand, Kalhana pioneered historical research in the subcontinent, a tradition followed by Jonaraja, Srivara, Prajya Bhatta, Shuka, and the rest. With the advent of Islam in the valley, a syncretic ideology was propagated by both Hindu and Muslim seers who emphasised worship of one God through devotion, called Bakhti-Marga or Sufism, rather than through academic pursuit and study of scriptures, called Gyana-Marga. Sufis and Saints like Nund Rishi, Rupa Bhavani, Arni Maal, Parmanand and Krishen Joo Razdan came forward to guide people towards their ultimate destiny. The most outstanding among them, Lalleshwari (Lalla-Arifa) of Padmanpore (Pampore), is revered equally by both Hindus and Muslims. The famous quatrains of this fourteenth-century mystic poet, called Vaakh in Kashmiri (Vaakh is derived from the Sanskrit word Vakya, meaning sentence), have ever since filled the air with the fragrance of divine and celestial lyricism. These short, pithy, moral aphorisms, carried through word of mouth for many centuries in the past, often distorted, interpolated and mutilated, in the absence of a written word, so much so that it became difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff. 

Kashmir has an age-old tradition of singing and playing music in places of worship and at personal functions such as weddings. At the beginning of a singing or dancing session, a singer generally starts with the recitation of a few Lalla-vaakhs, which is regarded as a good omen. Well-trained singers often sing these quatrains as a separate genre with utmost devotion.

In the recent past, many scholars have made commendable efforts to collect and explain Lalla-Vaakh, and various books have been published from time to time. Mention of such scholars is made briefly in the present book. Still, many poems may have been lost, while some stand substituted. The latest collection of these quatrains has been attempted by Jawahar Lal Bhat, an English teacher by profession, who, after extensive research and verification of their genuineness, has included 244 Lalla-vaakhs in his book entitled ‘Lal-Ded Revisited’. The book stands as a testimony to his lifetime achievement. What gives this book an edge over others is that it is written in English, a language read and understood worldwide. The commendable job done by the author is that these Kashmiri vaakhs are printed in three different scripts, viz. Roman, Devanagari, and Nastaliq, for the convenience of different readers, with a brief translation at the end of each vaakh.

Last but not least, each vaakh has been further elucidated in light of its contextual import, as well as its religious and spiritual background, to make her philosophy intelligible to the reader. The foreword to the book has been penned by an eminent Kashmiri scholar, T N Dhar ‘Kundan’, who has aptly set the tone with dexterity. In the introductory chapters, Jawahar Lal Bhat discusses the life and works of the great mystic poet Lalleshwari, fondly called Lal-Ded by Kashmiris. Proud of her Brahmanic descent, the Yogini was revered by both Hindus and Muslims alike. Lal-Ded believes that the universe is controlled by the Supreme Lord, who has no religion, caste or creed, and therefore, people should seek refuge in Him and attain the said goal through self-realisation (V-111):---

Shiv chuy thale thale rozaan,

Mo zaan hyund ti Musslman;

Truk ay chukh ti panun paan parzaan,

Soy chaey Sahibus zaenie zaan.

(The presence of Shiva can be felt everywhere, in every object and creature. How stupid it is to discriminate between individuals—Hindus and Muslims! If you are truly sensible, recognise yourself. It will help you achieve the eternal truth- the Supreme Lord)

The author has set at rest many myths about Lalla’s life. However, he confirms the ill-treatment meted out to her by her husband and in-laws, which she herself mentions in a few vaakhs besides the ridicule, jeering and fun poked at her by the public (V- 54 & 105). These acts drove her to seek peace and enlightenment through worship of Shiva, the absolute, at the feet of her Guru, Shri Sidh Sri Kanth, known as Sedh-Mol. She strongly believes that only a good teacher (Guru) can show us the right path, and one must choose the right Guru to attain salvation in life (V-202-209). In vaakh 206 she writes:--

Guraey mol tay guraey maejey,

Guraey divan nyaetren gaash;

Yem tchaeris maeris vastir laegiy,

Chuy punyaes bhaegiy te papan nash.

(The Guru is both mother and father to his disciple. It is he who gives his eyes the spiritual sight and clothes his bare self with celestial garments. The Guru is the partaker in the returns for his good deeds and a crusader for all sins committed by him.)

Lalleshwari acknowledges that she learnt the truth about existence only through discourse (V-18) and believes that most of us are led astray because we choose the wrong skills and paths to reach the absolute (V-20). She further forbids people from wasting time on rituals such as chanting mantras or counting rosary beads (V-26). As regards spiritual attainments, she says that some are blessed by God without asking, others are bestowed with spiritual powers after hard work and labour, while still others, despite achieving the objective, let it go to waste due to negligence (V-98).

In V-29 & 85, Lal Ded highlights the ephemeral character of life and material acquisitions, which have to be abandoned ultimately. In this connection, the poetess says in Vaakh-165;

Kus mari tay kasu maran,

Mari kus tay maran kus;

Yus Har Har traevith ghar ghar kare,

Adhi suy mari tay maran tus.

(Who will die? Who will be killed? One who is always worried about the interests of himself, home and family and forgets the name of the Lord, would certainly die and be killed for sure.)

In contrast to Sanyas, Lal-Ded believes that a seeker need not give up his/her Grahast Ashram (normal family life) to seek union with the Absolute. Yet she wants a human being to give up sensual pleasures, material wealth, and ego in pursuit of a better spiritual experience through suffering and the awakening of the soul, reflecting Hindu philosophy. In Vaakh-123 she says;

Traishe bochche mo kraish na vun,

Yani tcheye taane sandarun deeh;

Phrath chon daarun te paarun,

Kar vopkarun suy chuy krey.

(Don’t torture your body by refusing it food and drink to appease the gods. Feed it whenever it needs. Hell with expensive clothes and delicious foods, these can’t make you better. Help others in their need; there is no better worship.)

Lalleshwari believes in maintaining a moderate lifestyle coupled with contentment (V-99). In some cases, she uses the Socratic dialogue method, asking questions and seeking answers to reach the goal of life (cf. 102-103, 237-238). 

According to Lalla, the awakening of the soul and self-realisation are essential for attaining salvation from the pain of the continuous cycle of births and deaths. Her teachings are strewn all over her quatrains like gems of pearl, which the author has tried to make a rosary of. As per the author, “Lalleshuri was one of the leading expounders of Kashmir Shaivism, the internationally renowned philosophy depicting oneness of man with the absolute. As a poet and an ascetic, she sang in an easily intelligible word the terse principles of Kashmir Shaivism, Yoga and Tantra, henceforth limited within the corridors of highly educated scholars and saints of yore.” Further, she relates her ecstasy when she watched Shiva and Shakti together in their heavenly abode as per V-177.

From vaakhs 215 to 221 she has thrown light on the importance of ‘OM’which she considers as pivotal to life since it represents the basic sound of life (Naad) that sustains the world. In Vaakh 215, she says;

Omai akuy achchur porum,

Suy ha mali rotum wondus manz;

Suy ha mali kani paeth gurum ti tchurum,

Aises saas ti sapnis soen.

(I chanted repeatedly the unique divine word OM and saved it lovingly in my heart with my persistent dedication and love. I was just ash and by its divine grace got transformed into gold.)

Lalleshwari’s similes and metaphors, which enrich her poetry, are drawn from normal life. At times, she uses common items like the Kangri and charcoal made from Chinar leaves as symbols to convey her viewpoint, so that the common man can quickly and vividly understand her philosophy (V199). This is one of the reasons her poetry became very popular and is still quoted today, despite its many archaic words. 

The exegesis at the end of the book in the form of ‘Notes’ is exhaustive. For the sake of convenience, the author has classified the quatrains into seven groups and arranged them accordingly, though their order may not be chronological. This has been done to link vaakhs with similar dispositions and bring out their unity through this linkage. The groups are: i) Personal celestial experience, ii) The essential purpose of life, iii) The concept of Universal Lord, iv) On Pranayama and Kundalini Yoga, v) Guru Saadhna, vi) On the divine syllable ‘Om’, vii) Miscellaneous. 

It may not be an exaggeration to say that the book is a direct result of the author’s faith, devotion, and hard work, and will hopefully be well received by the reading public, especially those who want to understand her philosophy and the ancient thought of Kashmiri sages.

*****

Employment: The First Innings - II

 

            

            Employment: The First Innings - II

After getting frustrated, I wrote a letter to my father informing him that I would stop making any further efforts and would now work like other Managers of the Emporium. Having written so, I indulged in corrupt practices like other Managers and took my share from overcharging customers more than the labelled prices. I also converted dollars received in the branch into Indian currency and pocketed the premium of around four rupees per dollar. In one case, I was confronted by a member of the Indian Foreign Service posted in an embassy in a foreign country. He visited my shop and chose a carpet for purchase. I quoted Rs 3600/- against the actual cost of Rs 1800/-. He asked me to send it to his residence. In the meantime, he visited our main showroom at Prithviraj Rd, New Delhi, where a similar carpet was quoted at Rs 4500/-, which convinced him of a good bargain. However, when the packet was delivered to him, he insisted on a receipt and rang me up. I told him that, in case he wants a receipt, he will have to pay an additional 10% as tax on the product, which I had tried to save for him. That was our usual alibi in such situations. He countered in a loud voice, “Do you know to whom you are talking? He revealed his identity and said, “There is no tax levied on handmade carpets.” I said, “Sorry, Sir, I shall have to check up with my main branch and report back to you. I rang him up after half an hour and told him that he was right, and the receipt is on the way. Thank God the matter ended there. Thus, one carpet was spared and sold without a receipt to another customer. The staff in other branches of KGAE were surprised to hear about my change of heart. 

Many people visited our showroom, notable among those were Sonia Gandhi and Rehana Sultan. Sonia Gandhi looked like a foreigner with a cool, calm, dignified and composed demeanour. She was wearing a soft and pleasing dress. She came in quietly, walked across the showroom and checked different shelves on which goods were displayed. She picked a dozen papier mache coasters, placed them on my table and said to me before she left, “I shall have these.” In the meantime, an old lady, whom I knew was the governess of Indira Gandhi, called me out and said, “She is Bahuji. Whatever she picks, please send it to the PM’s house.” I was taken by surprise and tried to recall if I had passed any mischievous smile or done anything rude.  After satisfying myself, I rang up the Manager of our main branch, who further guided me on how to proceed in the matter. The bill was cleared by the PM’s house within a fortnight. Similarly, I remember Rehana Sultana, the lead actress in the film ‘Dastak’, entered the showroom, followed by a snobbish person. I was alone in the showroom, and he prompted me to get up quickly and attend to her. I enquired who she was. Sharp came the reply, “She is Rehana Sultana, a famous actress.” I asked, “And you?” He said, "I am Johnny.” The meaning of the term ‘Johnny’ was revealed to me much later when I read an Urdu book by Krishen Chander titled ‘Filmi Qayda’. Rehana smiled and asked me in Hindi, “Don’t you watch Hindi movies?” I had not watched many films, but I replied, “No, I don’t like them.” “What do you like?”  She asked. I had no answer, but blurted out, hoping that she would not ask any questions about English movies, “I watch only English movies.” I would have drawn a blank had she done so. Nevertheless, she enquired, “But why?” I replied, “Hindi movies are stereotyped.” She replied with all humility, “Please watch the movie, Dastak, it is totally different. You will surely like it.” There the matter ended. 

Another case was much more dramatic. A jet black customer named Abu Bakr Kabeke from Nigeria, entered the showroom dressed in a white Agbada. I was at that time attending to an American customer who was so impressed that she invited me for dinner in the Peacock restaurant opposite our showroom. As the Nigerian entered, he looked at a tiger skin on display in the showroom. He asked me to show it to him by spreading it on the floor. I told him that it cannot be sold as it is forbidden under wildlife conservation. He said in incoherent English, “I supervise Nigeria embassies all over the world. Diplomatic Immunity. Nobody dares touch my luggage.” Still, in order to avoid selling it, I quoted the price at Rs 11000/- instead of Rs 7000/-. He invited the American woman who had praised his Agbada, and they got some photographs taken jointly sitting on the tiger skin. While we finalised the deal, she also selected some items worth more than Rs 3000/-, which he paid for. Besides, he insisted on wrapping it in a costly bedsheet fully embroidered with fine needlework, as well as putting the item in a suitcase which, in fact, had the office records of the consignment dealer in it and was not for sale. I was reluctant to part with it, but he was adamant, and I had to yield.  The total amount worked out to around $2000/-, and I got them exchanged the next day, earning Rs 8000/- as a premium. I was, however, afraid of getting caught for selling the banned skin, so I followed Abu Bakr to the airport till his baggage was cleared and the aeroplane took off. The tiger skin was on consignment in the showroom and its salesman was on leave. He came after a few days and was told of the deal. He was furious as he did not expect that I might have sold it at a premium, but he kept quiet when I paid him the actual sale price and his own share of Rs 3000/- in addition. I also paid some amounts to the visiting accountant and the peon in the showroom. It was a windfall for me. Later on, Kebeke visited the showroom again after a few months. I had been transferred from the branch by then. Fortunately, I visited the branch to say goodbye to the staff who informed me that Kebeke is looking for you. I visited his room, where he gifted me a suit which he had purchased from Paris. 

Those days, the Asia '72 exhibition was going on, and Manager, KGAE, Connaught Place Branch, Nissar Hussain and I visited the exhibition as our organisation had a pavilion there. By a stroke of luck, I made friends with one of the Girl Guides there, Jyothibala Kulkarni, a Maratha Brahmin from Coimbatore, posted in our pavilion and we came very close to each other. I was very much interested in marrying her, but when she went back to Coimbatore, she wrote to me that her conservative parents wanted her to marry a Maratha Brahmin only. Anyway, the ill-got money described earlier was spent during those days on lunches, discotheques and showing her around the city. Nothing was saved except a few dresses I had purchased for myself. 

My curiosity as a writer also made me visit the red-light area of Delhi along with a few friends of mine. After a few setbacks, I befriended the Madam of a brothel and enjoyed her company but had no intention to indulge in sex. My two friends chose their partners and went into the available cubicles. I stayed by the side of the Madam and started smoking a cigarette. She asked for a matchstick, but I offered the cigarette as well, saying in Hindi, “Hamein pilana bhi aata hai aur jalana bhi.” She smiled and retorted, “Shair maloom hote ho. Andar nahi jana kya?” I said, “Nahi, aap ke sath batein karna acha lag raha hai.” In the meantime, she called for tea for herself and started drinking it. I quipped, “Ajeeb mehman nawazi hai, Chai apne liye mangwai, aur hum dekhte reh gaye.” She replied, “Aap hamari chai piyein ge kya?” I said, “ Haan, kyun nahi.” She immediately called the boy back and asked him to bring another special cup of tea for me. Believe me, the taste of that cup of tea still haunts me. I visited her a few more times along with my friends and studied the environs as well as the behaviour of the sex-workers there. I have penned down two short stories on the subject in Urdu, which are included in my first collection of short stories.

The MD of our organisation visited Delhi after about a month and found my attire changed completely. Some of my colleagues who had earlier come from Srinagar had become jealous of me and carried tales to him. He had become wary of my conduct and issued my transfer orders to Srinagar as Statistical & Review Officer, where there was no possibility of earning any extra money. I reached Srinagar on 26th January 1973. The posting was a great shock and an eye-opener for me. It made me introspect and think seriously about my future. It dawned on me that all these indulgences had no intrinsic value and were ephemeral. They would surely lead me to an abyss of immorality. Hence, I decided not to follow such ways further and repeat them again in future. I pledged to live an honest life thereafter and concentrate on my career instead. (to be continued)

Employment: The First Innings - I

 

            Employment: The First Innings - I 

Let me turn the clock back a few decades. After completing my Master's in Botany from Kashmir University, I received a call to join the Kashmir Government Arts Emporium (KGAE), a unit of J&K Handicrafts (S&E) Corporation, as Assistant Manager. I had successfully appeared for the written and oral examinations earlier and was placed third in the merit list. However, I had prepared myself for the teaching profession and was attending the B.Ed. classes in Gandhi Memorial College, Srinagar. My father, too, was working in KGAE, and as far as I remembered, had faced a tough time there for almost a decade. Yet he wanted me to join the organisation because the then Managing Director, Mufti Mohd Maqbool, was kind to him. One day, his MD told him that he had come from Delhi after a long time, and his children were suffering on the educational front since the standard of education in Kashmir was nowhere in comparison to Delhi. He asked my father to find a good teacher for them. My father replied, “Sir, my son is a good teacher, but I don’t know whether he will agree.” Mufti told him, “Bring him one day and I shall personally request him.” It so happened that my father took me to his home one Sunday, where his elder daughter, a pre-medical student, requested me to draw some difficult diagrams in her practical notebook. It hardly took me a few minutes to complete the job. She was speechless and quietly whispered to her father to request me to draw all the diagrams in the notebook afresh. I carried the book to my home and did the needful. The next day, when I delivered the notebook, his other four children were waiting for me to teach them. I could not say no to them, as teaching was my passion. I taught them for more than a year without any remuneration. In the meantime, Mufti Maqbool announced many vacancies in KGAE and directed my father to send my application. I refused, but his MD told him to apply himself on my behalf. After this, I received a call for a written examination. My father insisted that I should appear, and I may not need to join if I don’t feel like it. The same words were repeated when the call for an interview was received. In the final merit list, I was placed third, and one candidate ahead of me did not join. 

My father prevailed upon me through his brother-in-law, Pt Sham Lal Saraf, who had served as a Minister in the J&K cabinet for 15 years and was later nominated as MP, Lok Sabha for another 5 years. He had seen life and was experienced enough to be my guide and mentor. He said, “Deepak ji, you know your father is retired and has been given an extension in service. You have three motherless, unmarried sisters. Suppose he doesn’t get a further extension. What do you do? There are no government teaching jobs in the market. It is better to avail oneself of the opportunity available now.”

I explained to him the discriminatory attitude of the employer, as I was offered an Assistant Manager’s job despite having a third position in the merit list, while the candidates far below me were made Managers. Having served as Minister in the state, he was aware of the situation, yet he convinced me not to refuse the offer. He said, “I started my career with just a Rs 10/- per month job after my graduation, but continued to pursue my goals. Nothing stops you from achieving bigger things in life.” 

“Uncle, my educational background doesn’t match the managerial job, because I  am trained to be a teacher. By the time I aspire to be promoted to a Manager’s post, there will be dozens of MBAs standing in line to fill that job in this fast-changing world.”

“I agree, but given the circumstances, you have no choice right now. You can change as and when you get an alternative job.”

I joined my first assignment as Assistant Manager, heading the retail showroom of the Emporium in Chandigarh in April 1971. My basic pay was Rs 140/- pm, and my take-home pay was about Rs 250/-. I rented one room for which I had to pay Rs 60/-. Other daily expenses left no room to save or send some money to my home. As they say in Hindustani, Nanga nahaye ga kya aur nichode ga kya. However, the place had a very soothing effect on my health. The air and water of the developing city, Chandigarh, were clean, and helped me to regain my health. Those days, I was thin and emaciated,  suffering from ulcerative colitis for the previous three years, and blood used to run with my stools. A stay in Chandigarh did the trick. I ate only what was permitted, prepared at home myself and used to have a long walk in the evening up to the lake. I was cured slowly. In addition, I joined art and painting classes next to my residence to pursue my hobby of painting. 

I continued my BEd studies because only examinations were left. Flew for my practical and theory examination from Chandigarh and was successful in due course. 

The organisation did not suit me, and the staff indulged in corrupt practices, which I tried to stop. This resulted in their non-cooperation, but the branch showed progress in sales. Suddenly, the management thought of opening branches in foreign countries, and therefore, shifted me to the Ashoka Hotel, Delhi Branch, so that I could join Spanish classes in Bhartiya Vidya Bhawan, KG Marg, Delhi, which I did. Three other officers were also directed to learn the French and German languages. Since they did not report satisfactory progress, the scheme was abandoned halfway. I had completed one semester of 6 months and stood first in the class, which had two IFS officers also. This encouraged me, and I thought let me also compete in the Civil Services examination. I took initial guidance from them; however, some distractions delayed my resolve, though the idea kept knocking at my brain regularly. 

In the meantime, I registered myself in the Employment Exchange and got offers from private educational institutions. I had some noteworthy experiences during the interviews. When I reported for an interview at the Apeejay School, Faidabad, one of the members of the interview board remarked that he had a very bad experience with the Kashmir University, wherefrom I had obtained my degrees. He said that he had learnt that the University delays payments of evaluated answer books, and therefore, insisted upon payment before the answer books are returned to them. Neither did they send the payment, nor did he return the answer books. The University declared the result without receiving the answer books. I felt that the story put a question mark in the minds of other members about my capability. I had to make an additional effort to win them over. 

I said, “Sir, do you want to assess the university or my ability? If it is me, please ask whatever questions you feel like, and I shall try to answer them.” This restored their neutrality to some extent. Then a volley of questions was put by each member, which I answered satisfactorily. At the end, I asked them, “ Sir, may I know whether I have got the job?”

“There are another 12 candidates to be interviewed, how can we tell you?”

“Sir, I appreciate that. I shall wait till the end of the interview because I have come all the way from Srinagar on my own and can’t bear the expenses further.” After saying that, I left the room.

At the end of the interview, I entered the room again and asked the same question, “Sir, now that you have interviewed all the candidates, may you please tell me the result?”

“No, it is not possible. Though we have finalised the result, we shall have to put it before the top management for approval before it is announced.”

“Sir, that means you, too, are bound by prescribed rules and regulations, as was my university. The rules said that they cannot send the payment until the answer books are received back by them. I hope, Sir, you now understand how the system works. Anyway, if I receive a call once I am back in Srinagar, I fear I may not be able to join unless I am paid for the journey.” 

After a few days, I received a postcard asking me to join immediately. I replied through a postcard myself, informing that since my offer on the spot was not honoured, I am unable to join. This, however, I could afford to do because I already had a job in the Emporium.

I was called for an interview for a Post Graduate Teacher (PGT) post in the Delhi Administration. I had learnt that usually they get candidates with an MSc degree or a BSc & BEd degree, but not MSc and BEd together. This worked to my advantage, and I was selected. While I waited for the order, a Khalsa School organisation called me for an interview at their school in Lajpat Nagar. I reported in the office and met an elderly Sardar with a long grey beard. He sympathised with me and told me to come to his home in the evening, and he would put in a word to the Principal. I suspected his intentions and replied, “Ok, I will see.” In the interview hall, the chairman saw my testimonials and was surprised. He asked, “What is this, BSc (Hon’s), M Sc (Botany), B Ed, and then Adibe-Mahir (Urdu)? 

I replied, “Sir, I completed my education to become a teacher and got the Urdu degree as I write Urdu short stories.”

“Why do you want to be a teacher?” 

He expected me to say that I want to serve my country or children, but I did not oblige. Instead, I replied, “Sir, I am an introvert and teaching is a profession that suits me. His face looked blank as I guessed, so I continued, “Sir, there are two types of personalities, the artistic or Introverts who like creative jobs and the athletic or extroverts who like  

Outdoor and business-oriented jobs.”

“Do you mean you are an artist?”

“Sir, one doesn't need to be an artist; it is merely one’s trait. However, I do write  short stories in Urdu and have painting as my hobby”

He told me to wait outside till the other candidates are interviewed. At the end of the interviews, he personally came out and found me sitting in the office. He directed me to come to the interview hall again. We had a fruitful discussion for almost half an hour. Tea and hot samosas were called for the interview board, and I also had a nice cup of tea. Suddenly, he rang the bell; the same person, with whom I had interacted earlier, came in and was asked to prepare an order for my appointment immediately. He told me that I shall personally come to see you delivering a lecture. But that did not mature as I got a call from the Delhi Administration, which was preferable, being a government job. 

In those days, I was holding the entire stock of my branch personally since my salesman had gone on leave, assuring me that he would come within ten days, because I had told him that I was likely to get a job. But he did not return. I rang up my father and asked him to talk to the MD and get me relieved, but he maintained a stony silence because he was himself averse to the teaching profession. The only other person I could think of was my maternal uncle, who was working as a Principal in a Delhi school but was not reliable. He told me that he is going to Srinagar and will convince my father, but on his return, he said, “Deepak, your father has duplicity of character. He did not want to commit. It seems he has a lot of faith in his MD, who has assured him of making your future. I failed to convince him.” In the meantime, his wife had approached BN Raina, Deputy Director in the Andrews Gunj region to which I had been allotted and got me further posted to the School in Sector 7, R K Puram, which was within a stone’s throw of my residence. All my efforts failed, and I had no option but to continue in the Kashmir Government Arts Emporium. (to be continued)